Hello. This is Huw Puw reporting from Somewhere in Darkest Carmarthenshire for The Fish Guardian.
Today I can exclusively reveal the latest wonder-weapon to roll out of Welsh workshops. At long last, the Army of the Republic of Cantref Cemaes has been dragged kicking and screaming into the 19th Century!
This terrifying beast, allegedly the first of many, was wrought in the engineering workshops of Mansel Davies & Sons Transport Ltd at Llanfyrnach. The design is said to be Spanish and some observers suspected that the agents of Cantref Cemaes had somehow smuggled the plans in from Spain…
Sadly, it seems that Mansel simply saw it in a book and made something that looked similar…
When this mighty beast of war rolled off the production line (well, not so much a ‘line’ as a ‘point’) it was observed that it looked just like a rubber duck in profile – rather like the cartoon duck Matilda, in fact! So ‘Matilda’ it was! Hurrah!
Two days later the Cease & Desist Order arrived from Vickers and they had to find another cartoon duck…
With the copyright wrangles resolved, we can now present the Jemima Mk I Light Tank (seen here on exercise with the Daughters of Rebecca):
The designers confidently assure us that the Jemima’s armour can resist even the stiffest air-rifle fire and even mis-thrown pub darts. The Jemima’s armament of two Lewis machine guns meanwhile can penetrate the hide of even the toughest cavalry horse. However, not everyone is happy with the new technology and there are complaints that these new machines scare off the sheep and make them harder to sneak up on…
Here we see Mansel Davies, now commissioned to the rank of Major and appointed to command the Llanfyrnach Independent Armoured Company.
I’m assured by my assigned military liaison officer that ‘nothing and nobody can now stand before the might of the Republic of Cantref Cemaes…’ Well indeed. I’d run a mile as well… I asked him what he thought of the rumour that Lord Rhys’ Kingdom of Dyfed was experimenting with magnetic mines strapped to sheep, who are then trained to find food beneath tanks…? He replied that any sheep would immediately flee from the soldiery of Cantref Cemaes…
On that at least, we can agree.
That’s it for now from the Cemaes Front. Huw Puw signing off.
Help me.
[The tank is a Trubia Light Tank by Empress Miniatures]
Great stuff!! I was in stitches, bloody good stuff. Panzers y Cwm oh God… Don’t give me ideas!