Hello. This is Huw Puw, reporting once again from the Republic of Cantref Cemaes for The Fish Guardian.
Despite ample woolly distractions, the military build-up continues unabated in the Republic of Cantref Cemaes. In particular, Major Mansel Davies’ workshops have been working day and night to produce armoured fighting vehicles the likes of which (and I am absolutely confident in this) the world has never seen before!
I can now exclusively reveal that the Army of the Repbulic of Cantref Cemaes has agreed to take part in a joint Welsh Nationalist expedition to the English-Welsh border and the Catrawd ‘Twm Carnabwth’ has been selected to fly the flag for Cemaes. The Daughters of Rebecca are of course overjoyed at the prospect of action; they’ve done nothing but shop for new outfits and get their hair done ever since the warning order was received.
The mood of the men is jubilant and all across the camp can be heard the stirring Battle-Hymn of the Republic of Cantref Cemaes, sung lustily by tough men, raised in the Welsh Baptist choral tradition (sung to the tune of ‘Oh When The Saints Go Marching In’):
O mae defaid blewog yn wych!
Eu bod yn wyn, Cymraeg a blewog,
O mae defaid blewog yn wych!
Yes, it can truly be said that the King’s Army REALLY has no idea what’s about to hit them! I look forward to seeing the Catrawd ‘Twm Carnabwth’ in action… If only to see what they’ll do next…
Our photographer has taken some more pictures of the regiment training and showing off their newly-acquired vehicles and heavy weapons. Here we see the Buddig Mk I armoured lorry, suitably festooned in patriotic slogans:
The Buddig (named for the ancient British warrior-queen Boudica) has a crew of two and can carry a full section of infantry in extreme discomfort.
Here we see the Corgi Mk I armoured car, which has apparently been named for the tenacious Pembrokeshire breed of cattle-dog. I presume there must be some other sort of Corgi, as ‘tenacious’ doesn’t accurately describe my aunties’ overweight, malodorous, self-propelled furry draught-excluders:
The Corgi has a crew of two and cargo-space for four men or eight sheep and is armed with a Vickers machine gun.
Here we see Mansel Davies’ Llanfyrnach Armoured Company on exercise:
Mansel Davies’ workshops have also been producing heavy weapons for the Army of Cantref Cemaes, including this 2-inch calibre light mortar. This remarkable weapon acts as the platoon commander’s own ‘pocket artillery’, though has a poor reputation for safety. I have it on good authority that one round in every box of six detonates in the barrel… The crews have therefore been ordered not to fire every sixth round, which I’m sure you will agree, is a sensible precaution. The mortar crewman here, assigned to the Daughters of Rebecca, is apparently wearing one of his Mam’s aprons.
As the regiment will be operating in concert (well not so much a concert, more of a drunken sing-song down at the pub (but not on a Sunday, obviously)) with other Welsh Nationalist units who might not recognise the flag of Cantref Cemaes, they have been issued with a flag displaying Y Draig Goch (The Red Dragon), to emphasise the common cause of all Welsh Nationalist factions on this mission. They seem to like it, but to be honest, the dragon looks a bit like he’s woken up in the dark and is looking for the tŷ bach…
Some machine-gunners zero the sights on their newly-issued Lewis Gun:
Mansel Davies’ workshops have been set to work copying captured weapons and manufacturing them locally. These men have been equipped with a locally-produced ‘Boyos’ Anti-Tank Rifle:
So that’s it. We march tomorrow. My letters to the editor requesting a recall to Fishguard have gone unanswered and so this is it. This is Huw Puw, for the Fish Guardian, signing off for probably the last time.
[Models by Empress Miniatures and Musketeer Miniatures, painted by me]